CARTOON DOCTOR NEEDED Back

What baseball needs

is a doctor who attended

Cartoon Medical School.

No more Disabled List

or Tommy John Surgery.

Players can be splatted

squished into a ball

flattened by a piano

squashed by an anvil

blown into pieces

hammered into the ground.

They can fall off a cliff

swallow a firecracker

have a big hole

in the stomach

water spewing

out of where they're

stuck with needles –

and the next scene

they are fine.

Baseball also needs the

Cartoon Hospital of Recovery.

Obviously, it is an

outpatient clinic.